If you want to get into to the Christmas mood while playing online games then my advice is to visit some games at Jackpotjoy. The site has special holiday decorations and many of the game figures such as the Jalapeño Racers are also wearing special Christmas costumes. There are apparently big Jackpots to be won and very juicy bonuses..
I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, about the future of gaming, and we came upon a startling conclusion – though I imagine it was only startling to us, I have to imagine the games industry’s been aware of it for years.
With computer games taking over Cinema in terms of profitability, we were talking about the entertainments models of the future and it occurred to us both that instead of going to the cinema in the future, teenagers would visit completely immersive virtual reality cinemas where they can become characters in the film as opposed to just watching it.
All that was left then, was to come up with our top ten movies that we’d like to live, in virtual reality heaven…
It might just be an age thing, but the prospect of getting a gang of mates together to take a trip to LV-426 was just too much. Imagine it: it’s you, your pals, a big pile of machine-gunning-grenade-flame-throwing-rocket-launchers and hundreds of two mouthed slime balls.
You can go and experience a solid few hours of scrapping that will doubtless involve you getting cut, beaten, bruised and bashed while leaving you ready for work in the morning. But just don’t tell anyone you did it.
This is one for the loners amongst you. A single ticket buys you a building, some virtual terrorists and a lot of explosions. But please remember to remove your shoes before entering the auditorium.
Any Bond Film
Another great one for the loners. Buy a ticket, become Bond and you’ve got to solve a string of mysteries and puzzles to catch the baddie – and all the while you’d get to charm a virtual girl who just thinks you’re hilarious, no matter what you say… what a life!
Each person takes on a character, with his own super powers, and prepares to go to war against Magneto and the rest. Or, better still, you’re split into groups, given a mission and have to go head to head against each other. Great idea – assuming you can solve the initial fight in the cinema lobby over who gets to be Wolverine…
This is another ‘pick a character and work as a team’ kinda mission, as you go through level after level of flying, fighting and generally using the force. This could be the only instance in the history of everything where anyone actually wanted to be Luke and not Han.
The Other Boleyn Girl
Seems like a strange choice until you remember that this would entail buying a ticket to spend two hours being chased around a near perfect virtual world by both Scarlett Johansson and Nathalie Portman! Would undoubtedly lead to a whole new definition of what constitutes infidelity…
The cycle is complete. Computer game becomes movie becomes computer game that’s experienced like a movie. This should fulfil every woman’s dream of completely inhabiting Lara Croft’s body – which would quite possibly fulfil quite a few guys dreams as well!
Lord of the Rings
This would be a good one to visit with the whole family. All the grown-ups can choose a character who will best serve them while they protect the Hobbits. What better way to spend a winter’s afternoon? Just make sure you don’t suggest that they fly the ring to Mordor on the back of one of those giant Eagles or the point will have been lost…
Art imitating life or life imitating art, and does it matter when the future is this much fun? Maybe the challenge with this one should be to stop Neo from unplugging The Matrix because, as the above proves, life is just a hell of a lot more fun when reality stays out of the way!
Based on the ever-popular fight-em-up coin-op, this was always destined to please video game fans at the expense of any sort of decent plot. The film has every character possible from the original game, making for a confused storyline and lots of ad-hock fights. And I mean lots. Two things make this movie just about worth a watch are:
The light gun version has always been a strong favourite of any arcade gamer. A lengthy co-operative stint was well worth a pocket of silver. But when German director Uwe Boll gets hold of a game-to-film, all hell breaks loose … or at least some tame zombies take over an island and chase a few teens. This man is the dark king of bad video game movies, and if you’re listening Boll, please don’t touch Gods of War or Pac-man Please.
The highlight of Dennis Hopper playing a half man half lizard still doesn’t pull this one out from the trash can of the silver screen. A lacklustre storyline and the pairing of a Colombian (John Leguizamo) and a Brit (Bob Hoskins) playing two Italian plumbers from Brooklyn are only two of the things wrong with this picture. This was the first video game to become a movie and quite possibly should have been the last.
Like Indiana Jones, but not as good, starring the lovely Angelina Jolie and Red Dwarfs Arnold Rimmer. I can never remember what happened in the end. Did she die? Oh no, sequel.
It was great to see Lara Croft in the flesh bouncing around brandishing her massive … guns.
A detective story involving a pharmaceutical miracle drug and some winged creatures from another dimension – think The Constant Gardener after having a frontal lobotomy. Truly great game but the picture surely didn’t deserve the $85 million it grossed worldwide… unlike Sex & the City 2 which truly deserved every one of them $280 million dollars. For real.
Another fight-em-up-come-movie transformation. Casting Christopher Lambert as Lord Rayden was quite perfect, but little else was. The movie sets looked like a bunch of ten-year-olds had had crafted them at summer camp, the dialogue was full of cheesy one-liners and every character had to summersault off a wall at least twice. Please don’t make another one. Oh, wait … you have already.
Timothy Olyphant showing his full range of two facial expressions on the run from a checkout lady shouting ‘Come back, I just need to scan you!’.Slick at times, but worked a hell of a lot better as a video game. Surprisingly, as most video games do.
Doom remains today as one of, if not the most, influential first-person shoot-em-ups ever. “So let’s make it into a movie!” echoed the hills of Hollywood. “Great idea! But first let’s make a list of essentials…”
You may have thought that after the success of Super Mario Bros that the movie executives would have gone back to making orange juice adverts and Seinfeld scripts. But no,
Double Dragon is a game featuring two Asian twin brothers that kick ass in a big way.
It got turned into a film featuring two American dudes that kick ass in an even bigger way. One of them is called Lee to give it an oriental twist. Do not watch this.
From the picture above a keen eye could spot the difference between Christian Slater and an out of work Star Trek monster from 1994. Personally, I’m still torn. This film lacks any sort of plot or direction and Tara Reids acting is like …well, Tara Reid. It got a measly 1% from Rotten Tomatoes and rightly so. (Bullet-proof vests with muscles on them are damn cool however…)
I’ve watched the Channel 4 programme, Deal or No Deal a number of times, mostly when I’m waking up at 5pm on Saturday after a Friday night on the tiles. With the taste of cheap kebab still on my tonsils I watch the uber groomed, part TV presenter part toy bear, smoothly tone over his randomly knitted jumpers.
Don’t ask me what the game is about, but it is perfect for a hangover, it’s as if a Zen master had created the perfect vibrations for the brain by designing TV show to the specifications of Bhuddah himself.
Deal or no Deal makes no sense, but then that’s the point. If it did, you would have to think about it, to follow it, to laugh and cry with the contestents. But, because it exists on the shadows of conscious brain, it allows itself to waft over the sharp parts left over from an hangover and smooth them down.
The Flash Game is similar, there are no tactics, no strategy, it simply forces you not to think. Trying to influence the outcome would be like trying to balance one grain of sand on another.
It forces you to empty the mind, and as we learned from the Karate Kid, that can be a good thing.
One redeeming feature of the free Flash game, actually it’s two. Is that Noel Edmonds is not in it and the other is you can’t get Flash on the iPhone.
Has Steve Jobs even seen Deal or no Deal, makes you wonder.
Play the game, and I challenge you to have a single useful though whilst you do.
We all love computer games and some of us are even defined by them! There are a few however, who take it too far and become obsessed and play no part in wider society- the fanboys! Fanboys like to think they know it all when it comes to games, however the truth is that they have developed an unhealthy obsession with a specific game or platform. Here are 20 of the most dedicated (and weird) fanboys out there, enjoy!
Nintendo’s were cool in the 1990’s and remain so today, however this handmade contraption is too much. Almost as bad as those shorts he’s sporting!
Ok, you’ve lost the shorts, well done….but what’s this? Robot arms…yes just what the ladies love in a guy! (along with a double chin)
Now, I am a massive fan of guitar hero and have spent many hours failing to play it, however a tattoo? What are planning to do for Dj hero, get a set of deck’s burnt on their back?
There are many things wrong with this picture, but the thing that sticks out for me is the pudding bowl hair cut, I can’t take my eyes off it! Perhaps it’s because everything else is too horrific!
A of Sigma Phi Epsilon decided to turn their quarters into a shrine of everything Nintendo, I love the duck hunt gun! These guys clearly had a lot of time on their hands and no frat parties, imagine what the jocks would do to this place!
The Subtitle says it all! If you’re going to do this, stick a sock or something down there to give you more..package!
Ever since I’ve seen this image I haven’t been able to sleep, or play with my DS. Wrong!
This is seriously cool, until you think how long it’s taken them to build this collection and how much money they’ve spent. You could probably buy a car or even a house, but ah no you have to spend your life collecting children’s toys!
This has to be one of the most pointless car mods I’ve ever seen, it would be seriously uncool when it melts all over your engine and stinks! Also most people never get to see it it so……. what’s the point? Too far!
Ok you’re sat at home with your mate and a load of Nintendo cartridges, what goes through your head? Anything but this surely, I reckon this is a result of a lost bet! Either that or they just really like Nintendo
This pacman inspired tattoo, must have been a pain in the ass! His wife must have been pissed off when he unveiled this in the bedroom!
This is really cool, I love my PS3 and sausages, but this is too far, what happens to all the grease?
I have a playstation and the xbox 360 sucks, but if I were walking by the Microsoft head office I wouldn’t think of it as a free toilet! Too far Fanboy!!!
So you’re a fan of Tekken, aren’t we all, but to do this to a car is sacrilege. I hope this guy doesn’t have kids, could you imagine being picked up from school in this? Not cool.
Seriously? At what point do you think “I really like Mario Bros, why not get my entire back tattooed?” What happens if you don’t like it? Or if you suddenly fall in love with Sonic the hedgehog?
Ok, I love my wii, I do but would I dress as three consoles? No, why? I actually like talking to girls!
This tattoo must have really hurt, how would you walk afterwards? Imagine walking across your hall for a pee the day after. Absolute madness!
I would hate having this tattoo, seeing Tetris and never being able to complete it! It’s like having a rubix cube glued in the wrong position!
Without the ‘Boss‘, a video game is simply not a video game. Bosses serve as the final challenge, the true test of your skill. And by this point, you tend to be living in the world which the game has created, so they are pretty damn scary!
Developers have prided themselves of delivering enemies that are bigger, badder and wilder than the previous level. Check out our top 15, and please, don’t get scared!
We pulled together a list of 15 video game bosses that are hardest to defeat!
A boss so difficult to defeat, it forced many hardcore players to think about an alternative activity- ‘what else can i do with my day?’
Tackling this boss could take 24 hours to defeat, and players were falling physically ill and fainting. Members of a Final Fantasy XI clan (yes as hardcore as gaming players can be) considered it to be too difficult to waste their time with. I do believe this boss, in challenging peoples whole perception of computer games, is the Capo di tutti capi.
What is more awesome than a giant, blood thirsty terminator shooting you, and searing it’s hands around a maze of flames?!
Whilst Contra games are renowned for their monstrous bosses, this ultimate boss demonstrated the kind of extravaganza only Super NES games could pull off. Even the special surprise in Mass Effect 2 couldn’t pull it off quite so well.
At the beginning of Super Metroid, gamers are reunited with the space pirate boss Ridley. Unfortunately (be careful of any on-set of a heart attack), there is no ammo to defend yourself! Ridley sets to abduct Samus’ little pal, a baby metroid, who treated Samus like his mother. In no walk of life is this an attack to be taken lying down, this is now a very personal mission. Ridley is one beastly character.
But you thought the stealing of the baby Larvae was bad? Wait till you find him waiting in his lair, awaiting her return.
On welcoming Samus, he dive-bombs out of his vertical lair, making varying wild and unpredictable attacks; scorching Samus with his fiery breath, seizing her in his talents and whipping her repeatedly with his barbed tail. Not only this, he seems to absorb Samus’ defence attacks quite indifferently. This is Ridley at his up most, and the attack is notorious amongst Super Metroid players.
Not only does psycho mantis’ eerie, scratchy voice echo into your life beyond ‘The Game’ and into your darkest dreams, he can read your thoughts. He reviews your progress throughout the game, and refer back to games prior Metal Gear Solid. He can, at any moment, take over your control pad.
This is the ultimate psychological thriller of games. You don’t even need fire breathing dragons to cry at your screen with this one. And remember (read in scratchy, eerie voice), He will Never Escape You!
To look at Kefka Palazzo, you would not predict the extend of his villainous nature. He could be considered the least intimidating-looking villain in the whole of the Final Fantasy series.
But looks can be very, deceiving. He poisoned a whole kingdom, erased the Esper race, assassinated his boss in without a second thought, and rose to ultimate control through devastating the entire planet. He went about obliterating towns and villages at any whisper of rebellion, ruling as a ruthless despot.
So if a whole village cannot survive his aggressive tyranny, we can predict the extent of the battle. Kefka first forces the player’s party to fight it’s way through his controlled terrifying goddesses, which as frighteningly twisted human forms look like you have entered the borders of hell, there is no way back, and it is times worse than you could have ever imagined. When you finally come face to face with the infamous Kefka, who is now in a godlike form, he removes all your health to one with his ‘Fallen One’ Trick. Damn, this guy is mean!
With a giant freeze ray which the alien ship battle shoots at you and the crazy looking aliens fired upon you, we can see why the final boss is a bit of a gamers legend. It helps that the special effects are pretty quality.
Not the most difficult to defeat, but the finale of shooting a nuke up its ass makes for wonderfully hilarious game play. This is certainly one of our favourites!
When it’s up to you to let the boss out of his cage, you really don’t want to. You put off this moment along as you can. And when you finally hit that switch on the fourth level of hell itself, you are gushed with fire and blood and are left face to face with…DIABLO!
What makes for ultimate perfection in this defeat is the blood lusting satisfaction the player gets from ripping the soulstone from Diablo’s head and forcing it into your own head with a high pitched scream. Or maybe that’s just me.
With streets of rage, you can see why the illusive Mr X has Shiva as his right hand man.
He’s proper bad ass, fully suited in black and he certainly rivals your moves. It may be that you have had to defeat such a range of enemies just to get to this point, but he is fast on his feet. When finally faced with Mr X and his machine gun, you feel quite prepared!
Zodiark is sometimes over shadowed by Yiazmat, who tends to gets all the fuss (I suppose he does take up the whole arena, and has fifty million hit points) but the Zodiark fight is fantastic.
After fighting your way through what seems to be an endless queue of some of the toughest enemies in the game, Zodiark bewitches you with ‘Darkja’ (a dark-elemental spell, which which can kill instantly).
Just before falling asleep with exhaustion after defeating Zodiark, its nice to take a long inhale of satisfaction.
Most games have a beastly boss at the end of a very long and winding journey. SHODAN, right from the beginning is EVERYWHERE, haunting each step of your journey. You could find her peering from the space station’s computer monitors, imposing upon friendly radio transmissions, and, taunting the player over the PA system with jeering insults as “Look at you, hacker: a pathetic creature of meat and bone, panting and sweating as you run through my corridors.” She is frighteningly confident. She cannot understand how a fundamentally flawed being such as a human could be allowed to exist.
Death and his damn scythes.
He is slow moving, but these makes him all the more aggravating. His scythes float around during the fight, which are difficult to avoid and cause four bars of damage a slice. Without the axe your attack is flawed, its long-arced shape is crucial to making it through alive.
The Cyberdemon. A twenty foot tall, cybernetic minotaur that has a rocket launcher for an arm. What can you do but shoot, shoot, shoot until it dies?
One may devote countless hours of their life to beat Tyson, and never do it. He is one speedy puncher with some top rate moves, such as the one-punch knockout. How can you beat this?!
And yes, we are talking about the computer game. But it helps to be fighting a real champion boxer, even if it is through a screen. It keeps you coming back for more.
This game is legendary. The password to reach Tyson directly has become like a secret handshake among fans (it’s 007-373-5963 if you’re wondering.
The uniqueness of Satan lies in the requirement of using a calculator to defeat him. And also a LOT of speed. Spend too much time tapping away at those digits, when you manage to get Satan’s HP down to 1500, he will heal back to health if not immediately successfully attacked.
To defeat Satan, you MUST be at level 99, and using Beacon of Assault three times in a row in order to stop him from casting a spell that will destroy you instantaneously. Ah Lord.
However, we cannot put into words the sense of accomplishment you will feel. Think a state of pure ecstasy. Surrounded by your most cuddliest of teddy bears. Now times this by ten.
Yiazmat can destroy at the onset of the fight, so don’t even bother attempting the fight if your character levels are under 75.
As Yiazmat is weak against Dark you must have either the Yagyu Darkblade or Orochi with the Cat Ear Hood. The Fomalhaut gun with Dark Shot equipped is a requirement.
One hundred Chronos Tears with Bubble Belts and Windbreakers will definitely help for all your characters.
With all this, there is still no guarantee you will come out of there alive. Good luck anyhow…ill meet you at the end!
Mass Effect 2